So often in my life I felt like the victim of my environment. Transforming to an action based mindset made all the difference in my recovery work. Everything in life happened to me, as opposed to participating in my own life. I thought that as a child of divorced parents, becoming a divorcee, collapsing into alcoholism, and surviving a stroke, I was the victim and would always be the victim. I thought “why did it happen to me?” I never imagined in my wildest nightmares that I was going to be a 46-year-old stroke survivor. Without changing my mindset, joy would have to happen to me. So, today I choose to seek joy by doing the recovery work.

The Pursuit of Joy

Practicing this shift in perspective I have discovered that my feelings are choices, as are the actions I can take to create the environment I want to exist around me—my reality. OK I admit it! I want other people to do things my way. One of the greatest gifts of my sobriety is the serenity prayer. By repeating this prayer daily, sometimes hourly I have been reminded that I cannot change or control people, places, and things. Instead, I can channel that energy in pursuit of joy.

I have found in my life that the pursuit of joy requires complete discipline and a committed life to do the work. I have to get uncomfortable—I have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

What Does Recovery Work Look Like

Work can take so many different shapes. We tend to think of work as sitting in front of the computer for 8 to 10 hours a day. Or we think that work is 2 hours at the gym at 5:00 o’clock in the morning. But in recovery, work can be rest, patience, acceptance, learning from others, therapy, and communication. Sometimes leaning into work can be hard. Rather than looking at the task that needs to be accomplished, it’s helpful to look at the first move you need to make to start the task. For example, I can’t go to therapy unless I stand up from the couch. I can’t go for a walk, unless I put on my shoes. I can’t rest comfortably unless I make my bed. Turn off your “wanter”. Do the next right thing before you have a moment to think about whether you want to or not.

Things only happen to us when we are standing still. If you were playing a game of catch with another person, what would it take for you to drop your glove and just stand there, letting the ball hit you in the face? If I’m not taking action in recovery, doing the work, and seeking joy, then I’m just standing there letting the ball hit me in the face, over and over and over again. I have to show up for life in order to recover and understand my long-term limitations from my stroke. The more I show up the more I find others standing beside me.