What does finding my spiritual home mean to me? It’s a place I return to in my mind whenever I want an instant dose of peace and comfort. I am an alcoholic after all, so I’m all about immediate gratification.
Starting My Day at the Center
In my daily life, I’ve learned the value of starting my day at the center of my recovery program. It’s like standing at a crossroads every morning, ready to navigate the challenges of the day that lie ahead and making that one decision to continue my recovery lifestyle. I pause throughout the day to pull myself back between the lines on the road. I am learning the art of adapting to life as it happens. Just like driving, I’m learning how to stay between the lines, especially when navigating the twists and turns and climbing mountains.
Adaptation Begins with Acceptance
Being able to adapt to life begins with acceptance. A significant part of my recovery journey has been accepting that I can’t control people, places, and things. This was the first phase of my healing from the inside out and being able to adapt to life as it comes. It started with that God box, pausing, and not reacting. Over time it has grown into adaption—knowing that I don’t have to insert myself into everything. I’m not the director of the play.
I’ve found solace in having a spiritual home, a mental sanctuary that comforts me as I experience that pause throughout the day, and every night before bed. I visit this place in my mind. It’s in full color, and I can feel the warmth and love surrounding me. I can even see my kids smiling. Its vivid for me.
A Changing Spiritual Home
Recently, my spiritual home has transformed. I’ve talked a ton about this moment that I remember vividly as a child after school with my cat. In the past few days, it has shifted to a new and more powerful memory of comfort. It’s now a cozy sleepover in the basement with my kids. I can picture it: half-finished basement, storms outside, Pokémon movies and bananas in pajamas, popcorn, and pallets on the floor. When I close my eyes and put myself in this moment, it infuses me with strength and overflowing love. It helps me fall asleep faster, experience lighter dreams, and face the challenges of a new day.
The Gift of Parenthood
As I’ve journeyed through recovery, my thoughts about how my children unknowingly gave me the happiest moments, days, and years of my life just get stronger and stronger. They were just growing and learning how to be human beings, and in their innocence had no idea that they were giving me the greatest gift of my life over and over again.
A Snapshot of Comfort
That original spiritual home was a snapshot from when I was a child—the moment when I was home alone after school with my Persian cat. Although I was physically alone, in retrospect, I felt like I was being watched over. Now, in my new spiritual home, I’m surrounded by the comforting presence of my children, and all three of us are being watched over.
Finding my spiritual home is a powerful tool to manage my mental health through my recovery. It’s a place where I can retreat, find strength, and reconnect with the inner peace that resides within me.